obligatory post #1
10/05/2008
Today is one of those obligatory posts. I knew full well I would have some of these when I committed to the 31 for 21 challenge. And I knew today would be one of those when I woke this morning - on the wrong side of the bed, as they say. I'm not sure why I am grumpy today. I just am. If I weren't too grumpy to form a thought I would tell you about our Saturday. About Luke's soccer game and his two goals, about Timothy trying to hijack the ball (while in play) half a dozen times, about Wil being the most enthusiastic cheerleader on the sidelines, and about spending time in the backyard planting loropetalum and clearing my zinnia bed in prep for fall vegetables while Luke dug to the center of the earth (again) and Timothy and Wil wallowed in the dry, dusty dirt in the old turtle sandbox.
It probably wasn't a good idea for me to go grocery shopping at Wal Mart on my grumpy day. I love their lower prices but almost always find shopping there frustrating. They never have everything I need so I have to go somewhere else anyway. It is always crowded, no matter when I go, and there are always too few check out lanes open. And it always takes me much longer than I intended.
But now I am back. And my sweet husband, the one who let me sleep in today and then had to deal with my grumpiness, had all the boys fed and down for naps when I got home. So now the house is quiet and my irritability is lifting, even as I stare at the three baskets of laundry I have to fold. And I am wondering and thinking about my grumpiness and how, today, it feels like a lot of it has to do with waking up to the same ole stuff. All this mom stuff that, at times, feels like more than I can handle. Or at least more than I want to handle. Today was one of those days. I just didn't want to do the mom thing. I didn't want anyone to need me, or ask me anything, or expect anything of me. But I can't get away from that can I? The needing, wanting, asking, and expecting. And I don't want to get away from it. I love my roll as wife, mom, and the only female in this crazy house. I have a lot to learn about sacrifice and loving well and patience and giving and humility. And these boys, three little and one big, are the very one's who will teach me. I think I need them far more than they need me.
Lord, make me teachable.
It probably wasn't a good idea for me to go grocery shopping at Wal Mart on my grumpy day. I love their lower prices but almost always find shopping there frustrating. They never have everything I need so I have to go somewhere else anyway. It is always crowded, no matter when I go, and there are always too few check out lanes open. And it always takes me much longer than I intended.
But now I am back. And my sweet husband, the one who let me sleep in today and then had to deal with my grumpiness, had all the boys fed and down for naps when I got home. So now the house is quiet and my irritability is lifting, even as I stare at the three baskets of laundry I have to fold. And I am wondering and thinking about my grumpiness and how, today, it feels like a lot of it has to do with waking up to the same ole stuff. All this mom stuff that, at times, feels like more than I can handle. Or at least more than I want to handle. Today was one of those days. I just didn't want to do the mom thing. I didn't want anyone to need me, or ask me anything, or expect anything of me. But I can't get away from that can I? The needing, wanting, asking, and expecting. And I don't want to get away from it. I love my roll as wife, mom, and the only female in this crazy house. I have a lot to learn about sacrifice and loving well and patience and giving and humility. And these boys, three little and one big, are the very one's who will teach me. I think I need them far more than they need me.
Lord, make me teachable.
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3 comments:
I feel the same way sometimes. It makes me feel guilty to want to get away or wonder what life would be like on my own. But I too love my role as a mom, it's just on those kinds of days...
These days type of days teach us a lot. Did you know the latin word for suffering is Patientae? Figures.
:o)
I hate going to Walmart, too. There are small windows where you can go and no one is there, but mostly... nope. Same things, too little stuff, too little checkers, and ours always seems to be messy, too. And I loathe their produce - I always go to the grocery store here for that. But our grocery and Walmart tend to run neck-and-neck with prices, so I go to Walmart for some things the grocery doesn't carry.
Wow, that was a long, boring comment. *lol*
Sorry to hear about the grumpy day, we all get them. :)
Long Suffering?
I know it can definitely feel like that some days, but on those days, you need to take a break.
I think moms also need to be taught that sometimes the best thing they can do for their families is to be a little selfish.
Take some time for yourself to relax, refresh, rejuvenate. Your family will thank you for it!
It is ok to take care of YOU first every once and awhile.
No one likes a grumpy mom :)
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