Luke was 2.5 when Wil was born. He was one excited big brother-to-be. He has taken the role of big brother very seriously from the time he found out he would hold the title. For Luke, if he was to be a BIG brother he had to change a few things. Soon after we told Luke that I was pregnant with Wil he announced that he wanted to start using the toilet. And he did. We "trained" a few times and that was it. I don't even recall him being in pull ups for long. BIG boys don't wear diapers OR pull ups, after all. Shortly after that, he announced that he was ready for a BIG boy bed. He transferred with ease and never looked back. Too, he took great interest in everything we were doing to prepare for Wil and told everyone at pre-school that he would soon have a brother.

One of the early thoughts I had after we received Wil's diagnosis was of Luke. And his excitement to have a little brother. To have a playmate. I wondered how Wil's delays would impact him. How would we explain it to him? How could we help him understand what having Down syndrome would mean for Wil when we didn't even understand?

I wondered whether Luke would protect Wil when needed. I wondered if Luke would accept and love Wil like we do, especially as he aged and began to notice the differences between them.

Yesterday, Luke came into the kitchen with a question.

Luke: Mom, when will Wil learn to talk?

Me: I don't know for sure. He is communicating with us now, through signs and some words.

Luke: But will he be able to talk one day?

Me: Yes, I believe he will. Kids with Down syndrome have different abilities when it comes to talking. Some speak a lot like you and me and some don't have as many words. And some have lots of words but might not speak as clearly as we do.

Luke: Will we know what he is saying.

Me: I'm sure we will. We know what he wants to communicate now so I feel sure we will be able to understand him just fine. Others may not always be able to understand him as well so we may have to help him out sometimes.

Luke: Will they make fun of him?

Me: Well, I hope not. But sometimes kids make fun of other kids that are different from them so it may happen from time to time.

Luke: Well, if that happens. . . I'm goin' in!!

Me: You're "goin' in?" Watchya gonna do after that?

Luke: I'm gonna let 'em have it (demonstrating pitiful boxing maneuvers).

Me: Hmmm, well, letting them "have it" may not be the best way to handle it. Maybe you could just tell them about Wil.

Luke: Yeah, I will tell them that Wil is really nice and just because someone has Down syndrome doesn't mean that they aren't really great. And I will tell them that Wil learns differently but he still learns stuff just like we do. And that he is a really good brother.


I don't think I have anything to worry about. Well, unless he "let's 'em have it!"

Where is that woman? I wonder if I can get all these down before she comes back to the kitchen?

Luke is the master of the sunny, cheerful picture. I have a collection of them waiting for frames.

Working on puzzles and reading books can only be experienced in small doses with these two who seem to need a high degree of gross motor activity. So we weave the above between the activity below,

because pulling off cushions and removing clothes remain Wil and Timothy's most favorite activity of all.

And me? I'm doing a lot of this.

"You know what I really don't like about life?" "Night time. You can't talk. There is nothing to play with. You just have to lie there. In the dark. Doing nothing and saying nothing. It's boring."

"I think Miss. Sherah (a college student attending our church) is named Sherah because she is good at sharing."

"Dormant is my favorite word because it feels good on my tongue. And in my mouth. Dormant, dormant, dormant, dormant. Try it. Don't you think so?"

after I put butter in the wrong batter mix while baking together. . . "Seeing you do that reminds me that adults can make really big mistakes too."

"It will only take a momentary signal to finish this." "Timothy needs a momentary signal before his bath." "Wil, would you like a momentary signal before we go outside?" "I'm coming in one momentary signal." Luke, what is a 'momentary signal' and where did you learn that phrase? "I made it up. It's a good one I can use to say a lot of things."

"Sometimes I feel like someone is watching me. I don't know where they are though."

"I just cannot help all this burping that is going on. God must really want me to be a good burper."

"I don't like the quiet game."

We played. We toppled. We laughed on our Rody's.

We went to the Zoo and took a spin on the Carousel.

I hope you, too, enjoyed Christmas, your family, and your friends!

Happy New Year!

1. Wil has been sick. For three months now. It is not uncommon for kids with Ds to hold onto colds or sinus issues for long periods. Typically their airways, ear canals, sinus cavities, etc. are smaller than the average kid so when they get "gunky" they have a hard time clearing it out. This has been true for Wil since he was an infant. I especially remember how bad he sounded after his heart surgery, and how long it lasted. When he was a baby he just sounded bad and that was it. He seemed to tolerate the stuffiness and sinus pressure well. Now that he is three? Not so much.

He really lets us know that he does not feel good. And that eating is not comfortable. This has been a common reaction at the table as we try to find foods that he will tolerate. His preferred mode of comfort the last three months is being held, which at 32 lbs., is getting tough on my aging back. Poor guy, he is on his third round of antibiotics - each round getting stronger. This time he takes it for 20 days. If this doesn't clear out his sinuses then we are off to the ENT.

2. Wil is not all grump. He definitely has his feel good moments. When he does, he grabs Timothy and they wrangle the sofa cushions.

3. Timothy, when left alone, does things like this.

4. Luke is happy to have a little time off from school. He has been in the creative zone lately. This is what he came down wearing last night.

5. We are looking forward to a low-key Christmas. The little bit of Christmas shopping I do was done a wrapped a few weeks back. The boys and I will be doing some baking tomorrow and Wednesday, including a gingerbread house, and then we will enjoy our Christmas Eve tradition of homemade chili and fries, by chef James. He perfects the chili a little more each year! On Christmas day we will lay low, let the boys enjoy their new toys and then grill steaks with Nonnie and Papa.

And we will give thanks for Jesus as we celebrate Him!

Bi Luke Walden

the 5 das uv krismis

Mistr snoman stas thaer (spoken like a true southerner) al the time

Mr jinjur bradman stas in the uvin

Mr rander gids santus slay

Santa flis in a sla. He givs prasints to the childrins.

the crismis tree is for Jesus.

1. Luke is really taking off with his reading. It's a lot of fun to witness. And the best part is his own excitement over it. He is particularly proud that he is now reading "chapter books!" So are we.

And here's Papa bringing up the rear.

Along with Aunt Tracy.

And finally, Santa, who apparently prefers horseback to a sleigh out here in the country.

4. A little news on our church plant. After much deliberation we have a name. Riverside Community Church. There are three rivers that run through Columbia: the Saluda, Congaree, and Broad. They merge in the Downtown area and run along the west side of the city. So while we don't have riverfront property we consider the city to be "riverside." So there you have it. We are loosing our meeting place at the end of this month so if you think about it please pray that we will find new space that will serve us well long term and as we grow.

My oldest boy, Luke, is an extravert. An extravert of the highest order. I am an introvert, an off the charts introvert. This difference, between Luke and me, is becoming more of a challenge as Luke gets older.

Extraverts, by definition, draw their energy from others. They are energized being around others, they need others to fill up their tanks. It is how they re-charge. And when they don't get to feed off others they get crabby. They are always discussing and processing ideas and actions, even as they are occurring, like during a movie or while reading a story. Everyone in our family can tell you how difficult it is to watch a movie with Luke. He wants - well, needs - to discuss what he is watching as it is unfolding. Luke thinks by talking. His thoughts spill out of his mouth before he even knows exactly what he wants to say. Another characteristic of extraverts, that is so true for Luke, is the need for affirmation. Not just your standard "good job" will do. Extraverts need lots of accolades. It's not a matter of poor self esteem. It is simply part of how they "get" energy. Luke regularly seeks affirmation for everything from his school work to bouncing on his pogo stick to the way he organizes his room.

Introverts, on the other hand, get their energy when they spend time alone or with one or two people close to them. When feeling worn down they fill their tanks by retreating. And when they don't get alone time they get irritable. Introverts like to mull things over a bit before discussing them, their physical space is important to them, they prefer work without interruption, and they don't need a lot of affirmation. All these things rob them of their energy. And all these characteristics are 100% true for me.

So, you can see how this can be tough for Luke and me. I rarely get a moment to myself throughout the day. I rarely have an opportunity to refresh and re-energize until all the boys are in bed. And Luke. Well, he is talking before his feet hit the floor. And if he is not we all hear his feet hit the floor as he bounds out of bed in the morning. Whenever I do have an opportunity during the day to steal away for a moment Luke finds me. He simply doesn't understand why I would want to be alone. It just doesn't compute with him. When I reach my breaking point with Luke I often say really ineffective things like, "Luke, please, just stop talking for five minutes." This is like asking my neighbors dog to please stop barking. But that's another post. Not to mention that asking Luke to be quiet, be alone, or sit still, saps his "energy" and makes him surly and short tempered. On the other hand, when he is "filled up" he is much more able to spend some time alone.

I have been painfully aware, as of late, that I am constantly trying to quiet Luke, to tame him, to force him to think through his questions before he asks them, to make him enjoy being alone. While there is merit in these things in terms of helping Luke to be more flexible and thoughtful what I am really doing is trying to make him more like me. And Lord knows that is not what he needs! What he needs is my understanding of how he is wired - even if I, in my introversion, will never ever ever "get it." He needs me to help him find ways to get the energy he needs - it all can't come from me. I am bone dry a good portion of the day!

So that is what I am working on. Being more intentional about providing ways for Luke to get what he needs. School has been a huge outlet for Luke, he loves it. But what I am learning is that the highly structured environment of Luke's school is another energy sapper for him, so when his school day is done he is really looking for ways to re-fuel. And that point in the day, when Luke needs his re-fueling, is when I am wondering if I will even make it through dinner to bedtime.

So there you have it. The Tale of The Introvert and The Extravert. I know I am not alone in this, I would love to hear how all you other introverted mothers engage with your highly extraverted children. I better get the hang of it because Timothy is hot on Luke's heels.

In case you are tired of the same ole' turkey routine might I suggest trying any one of the following. . .


Luke: "I would get a turkey from Publix and cook it on the grill for 20 minutes and then take it off to eat. I would eat corn and ice cream for dessert."

Here are some other methods given by his classmates:

"I would hunt to get the turkey in the woods. Then I would cook it in a frying pan and put it on the oven. I would cook it for 45 minutes. Put some salt and pepper on it to make it yummy in your tummy."

"I would get a turkey from the farm. I will cook this turkey for 90 seconds. I will eat the turkey. I will eat cupcakes with it."

"I would go and hunt one in the woods where the turkey lives. I would shoot the turkey with a musket. I would go and cook it at my house in a pan and then I would eat it and put some salt on it. I would have some soup with it."

"I would get it from the woods. We would look around and try to find a turkey and when it is tired of running we would catch it. I would take it home and put in the stove to burn up a little bit so we can eat it. I would cook it and eat it with salt. I would eat ham on it."

"I would get a turkey from the flea market. I will cook the turkey in the oven. I will cook it for about 8:30. I would eat vegetables with it."

"I get a turkey from the woods. I would catch it with a rope. I would take it home and cook it in the oven for 15 minutes. I would get the turkey on a plate and eat it. I would have chips with it."

"At the store, I would get the turkey. I would cook it in a roasting pan. I would put chestnuts on it. I would cook it for 6 hours. When it's ready, I would put some garlic and potatoes on the side. I would put chestnut stuffing there, too!"

Luke: Mom? What year was I born?

Me: 2002

Luke: Oh. What year were you born?

Me: 1969

Luke: Wwwhat?!!? You were born in the

Nine.teen. Hundreds!?

This cutie is Miss. O and you will be seeing more of her. She stuck close by Luke all day and referred to him as "boyfriend." Huh!?

After painting pumpkins and shirts and pants and various body parts the kids - and a few parents - loaded up for a hayride.

Hayrides build up and appetite so we moved straight to cake and ice cream. This is the "back up" cake. You know, in case my experimental pumpkin cake failed.

The pumpkin cake was a hit. And so were there gifts that will occupy Luke's empty bookshelves.

Luke thoroughly enjoyed himself and I think his friends did too. It was a good day!