My oldest boy, Luke, is an extravert. An extravert of the highest order. I am an introvert, an off the charts introvert. This difference, between Luke and me, is becoming more of a challenge as Luke gets older.

Extraverts, by definition, draw their energy from others. They are energized being around others, they need others to fill up their tanks. It is how they re-charge. And when they don't get to feed off others they get crabby. They are always discussing and processing ideas and actions, even as they are occurring, like during a movie or while reading a story. Everyone in our family can tell you how difficult it is to watch a movie with Luke. He wants - well, needs - to discuss what he is watching as it is unfolding. Luke thinks by talking. His thoughts spill out of his mouth before he even knows exactly what he wants to say. Another characteristic of extraverts, that is so true for Luke, is the need for affirmation. Not just your standard "good job" will do. Extraverts need lots of accolades. It's not a matter of poor self esteem. It is simply part of how they "get" energy. Luke regularly seeks affirmation for everything from his school work to bouncing on his pogo stick to the way he organizes his room.

Introverts, on the other hand, get their energy when they spend time alone or with one or two people close to them. When feeling worn down they fill their tanks by retreating. And when they don't get alone time they get irritable. Introverts like to mull things over a bit before discussing them, their physical space is important to them, they prefer work without interruption, and they don't need a lot of affirmation. All these things rob them of their energy. And all these characteristics are 100% true for me.

So, you can see how this can be tough for Luke and me. I rarely get a moment to myself throughout the day. I rarely have an opportunity to refresh and re-energize until all the boys are in bed. And Luke. Well, he is talking before his feet hit the floor. And if he is not we all hear his feet hit the floor as he bounds out of bed in the morning. Whenever I do have an opportunity during the day to steal away for a moment Luke finds me. He simply doesn't understand why I would want to be alone. It just doesn't compute with him. When I reach my breaking point with Luke I often say really ineffective things like, "Luke, please, just stop talking for five minutes." This is like asking my neighbors dog to please stop barking. But that's another post. Not to mention that asking Luke to be quiet, be alone, or sit still, saps his "energy" and makes him surly and short tempered. On the other hand, when he is "filled up" he is much more able to spend some time alone.

I have been painfully aware, as of late, that I am constantly trying to quiet Luke, to tame him, to force him to think through his questions before he asks them, to make him enjoy being alone. While there is merit in these things in terms of helping Luke to be more flexible and thoughtful what I am really doing is trying to make him more like me. And Lord knows that is not what he needs! What he needs is my understanding of how he is wired - even if I, in my introversion, will never ever ever "get it." He needs me to help him find ways to get the energy he needs - it all can't come from me. I am bone dry a good portion of the day!

So that is what I am working on. Being more intentional about providing ways for Luke to get what he needs. School has been a huge outlet for Luke, he loves it. But what I am learning is that the highly structured environment of Luke's school is another energy sapper for him, so when his school day is done he is really looking for ways to re-fuel. And that point in the day, when Luke needs his re-fueling, is when I am wondering if I will even make it through dinner to bedtime.

So there you have it. The Tale of The Introvert and The Extravert. I know I am not alone in this, I would love to hear how all you other introverted mothers engage with your highly extraverted children. I better get the hang of it because Timothy is hot on Luke's heels.

Gathering for prayer and food instructions. The latter being very important as 50 people seek to pile their plates high of Thanksgiving Day grub without having a collision.

Tables filled with hungry adults and kids in all corners of the house, inside and out. At first it is silent as we all shovel the food in, then conversations begin. About theology. . . .

or politics (wait, didn't we agree not to talk politics today?). . .

or how to successfully hide green beans so that dessert can be had. . .

It is now time to "rock off" dinner. And then slowly but surely eveyone made it outdoors to various activities, including but not limited to. . .

playing in the leaves with cousins. . .

or taking a turn on the horses. . .

or driving the golf cart. . .

or playing on the tractor. . .

or catching up with a cool cousin. . . or. . . are you ready?

target practice.

That's right. Because, really, what is a holiday family gathering without a little gunfire?

But don't be afraid. Everyone knows what they are doing.

Well, sort of. That's right, my eyes are closed. Evidently this is a big "no-no" when handling a weapon.

So is laughing hysterically.

Okay, here we go. Eyes open, no laughing. Got it!

The kids were banned from the area of the woods where my super cautious father set up for shooting. Luke, however, found a way to check out the action.

And just so you know, shooting in my family is for pure sport. We don't hunt and guns are locked and secure in a special closet that doesn't even have a door knob. Ain't nobody getting in there but Papa.

And every year we try to get a current family photo. This was the best of the bunch if that tells you anything. Could the boys look any more irritated at having to sit still for 10 seconds?

Hope your Thanksgiving was as good as ours!

In case you are tired of the same ole' turkey routine might I suggest trying any one of the following. . .


Luke: "I would get a turkey from Publix and cook it on the grill for 20 minutes and then take it off to eat. I would eat corn and ice cream for dessert."

Here are some other methods given by his classmates:

"I would hunt to get the turkey in the woods. Then I would cook it in a frying pan and put it on the oven. I would cook it for 45 minutes. Put some salt and pepper on it to make it yummy in your tummy."

"I would get a turkey from the farm. I will cook this turkey for 90 seconds. I will eat the turkey. I will eat cupcakes with it."

"I would go and hunt one in the woods where the turkey lives. I would shoot the turkey with a musket. I would go and cook it at my house in a pan and then I would eat it and put some salt on it. I would have some soup with it."

"I would get it from the woods. We would look around and try to find a turkey and when it is tired of running we would catch it. I would take it home and put in the stove to burn up a little bit so we can eat it. I would cook it and eat it with salt. I would eat ham on it."

"I would get a turkey from the flea market. I will cook the turkey in the oven. I will cook it for about 8:30. I would eat vegetables with it."

"I get a turkey from the woods. I would catch it with a rope. I would take it home and cook it in the oven for 15 minutes. I would get the turkey on a plate and eat it. I would have chips with it."

"At the store, I would get the turkey. I would cook it in a roasting pan. I would put chestnuts on it. I would cook it for 6 hours. When it's ready, I would put some garlic and potatoes on the side. I would put chestnut stuffing there, too!"

That is my new policy. I suppose it is a no brainer for many people but I have not always done that. I often settle. Like when I needed a new pair of everyday shoes but couldn't find what I wanted so I settled for a pair that, now, rarely come in contact with my feet. Or when we needed an area rug and my impatience with looking committed me to a so-so rug that I like okay but don't love. And there are plenty of things hanging in my closet that fall into this category.


So, my new rule is that if I don't absolutely love it then I don't buy it. My most recent example of this is a lamp shade. I have been looking for a shade for a floor lamp that we purchased for a dark corner in our den. I knew when we bought the floor lamp that I could not live with the shade but I really loved the base. So I set about looking for shades. Twice I carried something to checkout, was overcome with guilt that I was about to break my new rule, and returned them to the shelf. And then it happened. I found the shade that I love.


While visiting friends in Gainesville last weekend I walked by a store called Urban Threads that sells clothes and household items from Anthropologie, Urban Outfitters, and JCrew at discount prices. Perched in the window was the lamp shade I had to have. Stop laughing James.


Here it is. . .

And another view. . . Isn't it great? Appliqued branches, boughs and winged creatures are sewn around the shade. It's from Anthropologie. I love their clothes, their accesories, and their home decor but rarely shop there because it is out of our price range. But this shade that I love? Only $25 at Urban Threads. In their catalogue? $78.

Getting it for such a steal makes me love it all the more!

Maybe. Thankfully we have a few years to work on some of the basics.

Of course, he will be a well rounded player.

Go Gators!

I know things have been a little quiet here at Blessed Chaos. There are a few reasons for that.

1. I got a little burnt out in October.
2. We have been pretty busy.
3. I just don't have much to say these days.
4. My computer is only occasionally recognizing my camera so I can't download pictures right now. And, really, this blog is more about sharing our chaos through pictures than it is about writing.

So while things have been quiet on the ole' blog my cyber-friend, Lynn, who is currently pregnant and crabby and dealing with the terrible two's sought creative refuge in designing a new look for Blessed Chaos. I gave her an idea of what I was looking for - fall colors, whimsical with a touch of femininity - and she went to it. She got it just right don't ya think? I do.

I'm going to go see if I can figure out my computer/camera issues so I can share a photo of a 2026 Florida Gator linebacker. He lives right here in our home.