When Luke was just a baby my cousin (by marriage), whom I have mentioned before, gave Luke a soft little blanket/lamb that was embroidered with his name. The gift was referred to as a "Lovey" but somehow I heard "Lubby." Luke being my first child and all I knew little about blankies, binkies, lovies, and other such things meant to comfort babies so I just accepted this odd name and started referring to the blanket with a lambs head as Lubby. And eventually so did Luke. Luke attached to Lubby within 30 seconds of receiving him and has not let go since. Until about two weeks ago.

Luke has really led the way in all of his big transitions. He told us when he was ready to use the toilet. We worked on it for a day or two and he never looked back. He was done with diapers, wasn't interested in pull-ups, and knew exactly what kind of underwear he wanted. I wonder where he gets this from? He told us he was done with the crib shortly after that. So into a big boy bed he went. The rails lasted about six months before he decided those were too babyish (and they were destroyed by him kicking them). Thumb sucking was next to go. We did initiate this with him at the request of his pediatrician and frankly thought it was going to be tough because thumb sucking and Lubby went hand in hand. He had a very particular way that he held Lubby while sucking his thumb. But he surprised us and dropped the thumb not long after we brought it up with him.
This is Luke around 22 months with Lubby and Clifford (who fell out of favor shortly after this photo).
Lubby? Well he is another story. We never pushed Luke to retire Lubby. We didn't think it was important, we wanted him to have that comfort, and frankly it was one of the only things left that seemed remotely little boy (apart from the emotional breakdowns, interest in lizard tails, and fascination with bodily functions). Luke has occasionally, over the last six months, made his own attempts at sleeping without Lubby but he always caved, telling us he was "very uncomfortable without Lubby." "That's fine," we would tell him, "there is no hurry."

Then one random evening at bed time Luke announced that he would not need Lubby anymore. "Why don't I put him in here in case you change your mind," I suggested. "No, mom, I don't need to sleep with him anymore." Just like that, really? But I didn't argue. I knew he wasn't going to budge. Sure enough he went to sleep without him. That night and every night since. I realized a few days later that I hadn't even seen Lubby since Luke made his decision. So I went searching. I eventually found him in our guest room closet, like this. . .
I am still not sure of the significance of the diaper on his head. Maybe Luke couldn't bare to look at him or have Lubby's bleached out eyes staring back, begging to be held. Or maybe the diaper was to remind Luke that "lubby's" are for babies in the event he lapsed and went in search of him. Of course, my mind goes to shame. I think he started to feel shame over still needing Lubby. And I don't know why. Our best guess is that someone at school was making fun of kids that still sleep with crutches. Just speculation mind you. But it sure did get us thinking about the impact of peer pressure. I'm not sure I am ready for all this growing up.


Ctina said...

There is something slightly creepy about that diaper over lubby's head....

Ctina said...

oh...just finished reading...yes I'd agree with your theory.

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