I had a professor in seminary, an old guy who actually knew Albert Einstein (no, really), who used to always say, "I love my wife, but. . . " The 'but' was normally followed by something like, ". . . boy, sometimes she drives me crazy." He always said it with a big smile on his face and we, his students, knew that he adored the woman more than he could express.

In this psychotherapeutically driven culture we live in we are told we should not use 'but' because it just cancels out what precedes the 'but' and what's left is how you really feel. We should use 'and' instead. "I love my kids and they drive me crazy sometimes!"

I get it. I really do. BUT sometimes you just gotta use the 'but.' And it's my blog so I can use 'but' if I want to, 'but' if I want to. . .

My life right now is pretty centered around the troublesome trio. It's how I want it. It's how James and I want it. Me home with them, rather than working, while they are young. But, man, it's draining. Really draining. Each of them in different ways suck the life right out of me. That's what happens when an extreme introvert is called to parent extroverts - two of which are off the charts!

I love my time home with the boys, but as of late I am craving something more. I also am happy with the choices and sacrifices we have made for me to be able to stay home, but my creative juices feel a bit stifled as a result. And by 'creative' I do not mean 'crafty.' Nope, I am not crafty. Not even a little bit. But I do like to play around with my home decor. That's where any creativity I have comes out. However, when on a tight budget it's harder to hit the antique stores the way I would like. And while I know it would be super fun to go antiquing with three small boys I just don't have it in me.

Maybe it's the dog days of summer that has me feeling like I need to add something to the mix. Or maybe it's turning 40. Turning 40 with small children.

So, I have been looking for ways to spice things up a bit without killing our budget or taking me away from home too often. Tomorrow I have a meeting with the Director of Daybreak Crisis Pregnancy Center. They are looking for volunteers to spend time with their clients. Women, often very young women, who are pregnant and scared and looking for some hope. I am excited about giving some of my time to a cause that is important to me. And I am super excited about tapping into the thinking part of my brain. Woohoo! And James is happy to work his schedule out so that I can do this. He thinks he can get some work done at home while I am out. I will just let him go on thinking that, he'll find out the truth soon enough.

As far as the other stuff. Filling my need to change, update, mix-up my home decor. . . I am finding some outlets for that, too. Paint! I'm pretty much going to paint anything I can get my hands on. And nobody's gonna stop me. Pics to come soon.